I tried. Really I did. But I didn't leave the house in time, and the parking lot was full, and the parking meters only ran for two hours and well it just didn't happen.
Had tentative plans to meet some friends on Martha's Vineyard this afternoon. Just didn't happen.
I think it was a test. Of my newly heightened need to keep integrity in the forefront of all I do. And I do believe we are tested in the small things.
Could've lied my way into the shuttle bus parking lot. Could've lied about how long I would have stayed in the three hour restaurant lot. Could've parked behind one of the science buildings and hoped nobody found my car and ticketed it. Could've parked in an empty lot behind a business that nobody would have likely noticed but it's really meant only for the patrons. You gettin' the idea?
I'm not saying any of this to flatter myself. More just that I got hit with a series of small choices which would have been easy to say, "oh, it doesn't really matter, does it?" but something inside me KNEW I was being tested.
So, I missed the boat, because I didn't find a parking space in time.
Spent the car ride home yelling at God because my frustration at missing the boat brought up my frustration with some other things in life that I'm also being tested on. Vented. And then, went to the paint store and bought a can I will use tomorrow to freshen my bedroom.
Yes, I know. Random thoughts. What's the point, Mimi?
The same point I always come back to. TRUST GOD. Sometimes - no, correct that - ALL times God has a better plan in mind for me than my own self might try to direct.
Instead - I bought the paint. Did some house projects. Enjoyed a GLORIOUS swim. AND got to see this after my swim.
Not a bad day after all. In fact, I would count it a pretty darn good day. Because some muscles got stretched. And while I'm feeling a little tired for the experience (and I'm not talking about my swim) my trust is renewed.
Thoughts, dreams, questions.