A little over three weeks ago, I wrote the blogpost that has received the most traffic of any of the 58 days so far. It was titled "Coming Out," Honestly, I think it got read because people thought it was a different sort of coming out than what it turned out to be. If you didn't read it then, and would like to now, HERE IS THE LINK.
Tonight I want to take the conversation further. I hesitate only because I want to be thoughtful about it before I do.
But that never stopped me before. I will forge ahead ... a little ... here.
I have spent the past 24 hours immersed in a worship experience that continues for another 24 hours into tomorrow evening. The national meeting of Bible Baptist Fellowship International (BBFI) at Cape Cod Church (INFO HERE)
Now, I fully understand that there are those of you who have known me for a long time, or maybe just for a short time, who might be scratching your heads right now. Mimi, hanging out with 500 Baptist ministers and missionaries? I know. I get it. Because if you had told me two years ago that I would be here doing this, I would have likely looked you squarely in the eye and said "you're crazy!"
I've held back on talking much about this because I know there are those who will take argument with me. Lutheran friends may want to banter theology (some already have.) That's ok. I don't need to. Because this experience, for me, isn't about scholarly theology.
It's about my heart. And my life. And my next steps.
It's about celebrating an anniversary today, of a significant event that happened in my life exactly one year ago today. I already referenced it in the "Coming Out" blog post. My baptism in the ocean waters of Nantucket Sound.
Now, I'm hesitating again. Because I don't want to get into that theological argument. Or become defensive.
What I do want to say is this. Sitting in that auditorium tonight, listening to the speakers and preachers of the past 24 hours, I am feeling a stirring in my heart that there is something "else" out there for me to be doing.
I'm not exactly sure what it is. I don't know where it is leading. It's like... God is tapping me on the shoulder, saying "hey, I've got a new idea for you, Mimi. Wanna hear it?"
Oh, yes, I do.
If you are someone who prayers, please pray for discernment for me, to be able to hear that voice, and know where it is leading.
Could be that it is simply a deepening of the experiences of writing, painting, and music that I already enjoy. That would be lovely.
Or maybe... well, I'm just not sure. But I'm excited.
Here's to gentle nudges. And to listening for God's voice in our lives.
Sooooooo grateful tonight. If I was a cat, I think I would be purring.
Thoughts, dreams, questions.